My friend has an interest in a guy (her co-worker) who seems to be her ideal but she is resigning tomorrow and refuses to ask for his number. Her excuse is that she has never talked to him before and it would be weird if she randomly asked him. I didn’t get the big deal, if he said no, it wouldn’t really matter because she’ll never see him again. And if he said yes, then great. But she absolutely refused and we debated for a while over this situation. Honestly, I don’t care about the guy but I have a problem with my friend caring so much over what people think of her and her fear of following through with her actions to get what she wants. She said that the next time she meets her type of guy, she’ll ask for his number.
Its always a ‘next’ time isn’t it? Its bullshit. She claims that she isn’t ready and next time she would be which seems senseless to me. The current situation is the perfect practice run of taking a risk because regardless of how it turns out, she’ll never face him again. And doing nothing doesn’t exactly prepare her for the ‘next’ time. I talked big in our debate and it made me think of what I would do in that situation. I don’t like talking to people, I’m very quiet and it is difficult to put yourself out there so I get where she is coming from.
I don’t want the guy I’m interested in to think negatively of me. What if he thinks I’m desperate? What if he tells his friends and they say shit about me? That would make my life more difficult. My thoughts became even more dramatic and for a moment I almost accepted that it was okay to not take a chance. Fear was getting the best of me. As time passed my thoughts changed to a more positive tune. My own friends taught me that before words even leave your mouth, they’ll already be saying shit. You don’t have to do or say anything but people will still say crap about you. If the guy I liked says shit about me then he’s not worth it and opinions aren’t permanent. He could change his opinion about me later on.
Rejection, embarrassment, and people bitching about me all pale in comparison to the definite death that awaits me. Most likely, however crappy I am feeling due to the things listed above, its not something that will scar me for the rest of my life. It might be something I will grow and learn from. Taking risks in life is the only way you can truly live. People will laugh, they’ll say bad things, bring you down, you’ll probably cry and get frustrated but in between all those fucked up emotions there exist the good things too. We always tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive and its our attitudes that changes our perspective. In most cases waiting is simply an excuse. For me, putting off something makes me think of it less until it doesn’t seem important any more. So many people end up in unhappy, unhealthy relationships and dead end jobs because they’re in waiting or too afraid.
The debate between my friend and I made me think of how I need to be more conscious about my actions and that I need to push myself more. If I follow my own advice she might see more credibility to it. This applies to anything we want in life, this blog merely stemmed from a conversation about a guy. You just need to go after your metaphorical guy. 
I’m going to attempt to overcome my social anxiety and I know its going to be difficult but CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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